She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
