Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
