I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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