You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize