dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
