okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
