so that wasnt chicken after all
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants