you suck at this game today
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?