New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.