So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.