I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.