Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.

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(202): Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed. http://tfl.nu/1ylc

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(801): View more from Utah

You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.

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(801): You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night. http://tfl.nu/ij9z

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(630): View more from Illinois

My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.

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(630): My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock. http://tfl.nu/njgo

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.

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(414): He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk. http://tfl.nu/wrdx

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(512): View more from Texas

Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.

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(512): Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box. http://tfl.nu/wxom

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(519): View more from Ontario

i am way too old to be getting fingered at work

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(519): i am way too old to be getting fingered at work http://tfl.nu/4t42

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(310): View more from California

Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.

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(310): Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical. http://tfl.nu/lnv3

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(703): View more from Virginia

Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.

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(703): Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done. http://tfl.nu/tk11

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(512): View more from Texas

Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.

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(512): Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today. http://tfl.nu/tybk

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(606): View more from Kentucky

Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.

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(606): Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick. http://tfl.nu/0x12

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(937): View more from Ohio

How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.

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(937): How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold. http://tfl.nu/0xc1

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.

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(402): I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night. http://tfl.nu/7j2p

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night

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(508): she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night http://tfl.nu/wuxa

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(309): View more from Illinois

Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?

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(309): Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs? http://tfl.nu/hddn

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(970): View more from Colorado

I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.

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(970): I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me. http://tfl.nu/0q6n

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