So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
