I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had