do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.