My first STD was from a foam party
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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