Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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