Already got asked if we're dating
her vagine was all disorganized.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
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i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
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Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
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