We're like a lot better than the average bears
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
birth control should be required to get into college
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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