problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I stole a fireplace last night.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Randomize
