hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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