I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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