My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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