About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
