Can Purell be used as lube?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
