you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize