just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
