At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
