you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
