ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
