Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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