I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Did we literally take a cab across the street
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
