i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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