Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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