You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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