if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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