Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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