i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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