i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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