it wasn't lemon gatorade
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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