A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
