We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
handjob tips. give me some.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
