There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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