She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize