Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
