i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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