Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize