i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
