Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
