He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
