I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
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