i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
