What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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