Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
The uberlube is also flammable
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
