i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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