The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
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thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
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I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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