you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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