fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
