what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize