its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize