You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
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