do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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