now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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