is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
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She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
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I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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